A friend of mine is looking for a 2 bedroom flat or house and would like a garden. It will need to be DSS to start with while she gets back on her feet after a marriage break up, can anyone help?

Things that tourists say which make me chuckle

Tourists do make me laugh and here are few things that spring to mind. I'm thinking of adding a page about the funniest and strangest things a tourist or local has said to you. If you have some let me know.

When I'm fishing on princess pier

Tourist: "That's crazy, we can't walk to the other side"

Me: "That's because the boats and yachts need a way of getting in and out of the Marina and harbour"

Tourist "Oh yeah".

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Tourist coming up to me while I'm fishing:

Tourist "What do you catch here?"

Me: "Fish"

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Tourist: "What do you use to catch fish"

Me: "A hook"

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Tourist: "Whats those hooks with feathers called?"

Me: "Feathers"

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Other mind boggling things to happen to me

I was fishing down meadfoot one night. I had 2 rods cast out to sea, my tackle boxes, flask, radio and all my sea fishing clothes on. A Police car pulls up and this is exatly what he said to me:

Police: "What you up to then?"

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Tourist: "How do I get to the beach?"

Me: "Its the big blue thing in front of you. Just follow the hundred or so people walking that way with beach towels"

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In case your wondering what Ron Atkinson said it's ""f***king lazy ni*ger".

Full Ron Atkinson story here.

No wonder hes in trouble :-/

Why MyCokeMusic.com is such a waste of space

You ever get to the stage where something becomes a mission? Well I do. This is my light hearted look at why Coca Cola's web site sucks so much balls a prostitute with 50 years experience would be jealous.

A few weeks ago I bought a can of coke and while watching TV I noticed the "1 in 10 win" for music downloads ad on the can. Normally I take no notice of such things but I was interested how it worked so I went to the site. Instantly I was looking at some flash junk someone on acid probably created while on the loo suffering from the squirts.

I looked for the `Skip Intro' button. Nope nothing. I was forced to wait for the flash junk to start playing. A few seconds in a `Skip Intro' appears.

"Arrrgghhh" I thought. "Wouldn't the Skip Intro button be better suited showing BEFORE the intro it needs to skip has started". ( Gets confusing doesn't it? Well I like it that way so suffer :-) ).

I looked around for the "no flash" option but I'm stuck with it. Oh well I thought. My popup blocker seemed to enjoy this site so I carried on anyway...

I tapped in the code....

"Sorry you didn't win". Heh, I thought, usual luck there then.

Over the last few weeks I have been checking the can I drink and also friends who came over. A few dozen cans later I finally get a win (1 in 10? yeah right!).

Anyway......

Tapped in the code and I won!

"Yay" I thought, now for my cool free song!

I click the continue button and I visit another screen that tells me have to register (popup blocker still enjoying this site). I created a temp simonday.com email addy which I could easily delete and registered. I finally enter a page with some html but now I'm looking at loads of frames (We still in the 90's coca cola?) but I carried on regardless as my mission to rid coke of some bandwidth continued...

After ages looking for a song I finally pick one I like (Popup blocker smoking on this session) and clicked to download. Popup blocker clicked and nothing else happened. So I tried again this time holding down ctrl to allow yet another popup only to be told I have to wait.... and wait.....and wait.... and.....

"Timed out, try again". At last I thought after a 3 course meal and walking my dog to London and back so this time I held down ctrl and clicked download. Popup window pops up

"Do you want to download or save for later?"

Erm I clicked on download and I'm on this site to download a song... sigh ok, click download once again. Popup blocker clicks yet again and nothing happens. I wait....and wait....and wait... and.... nothing happens. I click on download again..

"Sorry you have no credits"

Huh? I thought to myself... tried again

"Sorry you have no credits"

Ctrl + Click

"Sorry you have no credits"

"No, I have no music, not no credits!" I shouted

I clicked help

"You can buy these tracks for just 99p" The computer screen tells me

"Do the free downloads cost 99p as well then?" I mumbled under my breath

Fill in some form to get an automated "Thanks but screw you, only a computer is ever gonna see this" kind of reply message.

NNNRRRGGGHHHH I moan in front of a load of customers.

"Uhh?" say the customers

"My can of coke won't let me download free music" I say back

"Er... huh?" say the customers

"My can of crook... I mean coke says I have to pay 99p to download my free track"

"You've stopped smoking haven't you?" one says

"Yeah, that obvious is it?" I sigh

"Yup!"

Anyway....

The motto of the story is you can't download your free song unless you make your computer so open to hackers and abuse by the time you do download 1 song some asshole in another country has uploaded his entire 300 movie and 5,000 mp3 collection onto your hard drive for safe keeping whilst laughing at your 0.5mb of 1970's and site preview porn he found on your hardrive"

:-)

I've been busy updating my computer repair etc side of things. I have built up my repair work by word of mouth only so I'm very pleased with the progress.

The new look Computer repairs and training in Torbay web site covers Computer repairs, PC health checks, Broadband help, Dial up help, Virus removal, Re-install windows, Internet training, Computer training and Email training.

I had another game of squash this morning and I'm still not smoking (5 days so far Yay!)

hehehe.

Oh yeah, This weekends tide times for Torbay, Devon has been updated.

Double "oh yeah" - over 50 people a day read my blog - go away dammit :-) How can I bitch and moan if all you lot are looking at what I write :-)

On DevonLocks.com today I added Locksmiths in Dorset and also LockSmiths in Peterborough.

I also updated the Boats for sale in Devon. Also updated it on my version of the list.

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I had a friend come over last night and he's never smoked before. It took him 2 hours to realise I hadn't lit a ciggy and he was really happy... but only because he said he used to go home and all he could smell was cig smoke and it took a couple of days for the smell to leave his flat. Once I quit it did get me wondering what other things people who knew me had to put up with while I smoked.

I've never liked Sundays and I'm sat here now wondering what to do with the rest of the day :(