RIAA lobby for new laws

The RIAA (Recording Industry ASS. of America ) will , after the success of suing single parents and destitute families, try to push through new laws aimed at stamping out other types of copyright infringement. These will include:

- A free phone number to inform on people whistling or humming a tune without the copyright holders permission. These people will then be brought into court to explain their flagrant abuse of copyright material

- Asking courts to prosecute anyone found to be singing the copyrighted "Happy Birthday" song. The RIAA believe this abuse to be the most profita... Widespread abuse of copyright material.

- Giving CD and DVD writers the same restrictions as gun laws. All CD and DVD writer users will have to be checked for criminal records and bank details dating back to the mid 80's checked to see if at any other time the person had bought other items that should be illegal like duel tape decks, VCR's etc.

- Giving the R.I ASS of America the legal power to hack into your machine to check for file sharing software. If the software is discovered then they can apply to the courts to have your electricity turned off for a period not exceeding 5 years.

- Restricting Local Area Networks to only those places which have no Internet Connection. File Swapping over a L.A.N would be impossible to detect and by restricting their use to Non-Connected machines you would solve the problem. The R.I ASS. of America believe that the benefits of protecting stars so they can afford to buy their 4th multi million pound mansion far outweigh the needs of the Worlds businesses and it wouldn't matter if a few million businesses went bust because we all have a duty to protect copyright.

- Changing the DEA (Drug Enforcement Agency) to the C.E.A (Copyright Enforcement Agency). The World has a much bigger Copyright Infringement problem than a drug problem and thus should be given greater priority. As the Ads on videos currently say: "Copyright theft funds terrorism". Scared by that? Well you should be. Drugs "May" kill you but the dozen 13 year olds you just downloaded that Linkin Park song from could well be plotting the next World horror so drug pushers should be a much lower priority.

Satire is a wondeful thing :)