Why MyCokeMusic.com is such a waste of space

You ever get to the stage where something becomes a mission? Well I do. This is my light hearted look at why Coca Cola's web site sucks so much balls a prostitute with 50 years experience would be jealous.

A few weeks ago I bought a can of coke and while watching TV I noticed the "1 in 10 win" for music downloads ad on the can. Normally I take no notice of such things but I was interested how it worked so I went to the site. Instantly I was looking at some flash junk someone on acid probably created while on the loo suffering from the squirts.

I looked for the `Skip Intro' button. Nope nothing. I was forced to wait for the flash junk to start playing. A few seconds in a `Skip Intro' appears.

"Arrrgghhh" I thought. "Wouldn't the Skip Intro button be better suited showing BEFORE the intro it needs to skip has started". ( Gets confusing doesn't it? Well I like it that way so suffer :-) ).

I looked around for the "no flash" option but I'm stuck with it. Oh well I thought. My popup blocker seemed to enjoy this site so I carried on anyway...

I tapped in the code....

"Sorry you didn't win". Heh, I thought, usual luck there then.

Over the last few weeks I have been checking the can I drink and also friends who came over. A few dozen cans later I finally get a win (1 in 10? yeah right!).

Anyway......

Tapped in the code and I won!

"Yay" I thought, now for my cool free song!

I click the continue button and I visit another screen that tells me have to register (popup blocker still enjoying this site). I created a temp simonday.com email addy which I could easily delete and registered. I finally enter a page with some html but now I'm looking at loads of frames (We still in the 90's coca cola?) but I carried on regardless as my mission to rid coke of some bandwidth continued...

After ages looking for a song I finally pick one I like (Popup blocker smoking on this session) and clicked to download. Popup blocker clicked and nothing else happened. So I tried again this time holding down ctrl to allow yet another popup only to be told I have to wait.... and wait.....and wait.... and.....

"Timed out, try again". At last I thought after a 3 course meal and walking my dog to London and back so this time I held down ctrl and clicked download. Popup window pops up

"Do you want to download or save for later?"

Erm I clicked on download and I'm on this site to download a song... sigh ok, click download once again. Popup blocker clicks yet again and nothing happens. I wait....and wait....and wait... and.... nothing happens. I click on download again..

"Sorry you have no credits"

Huh? I thought to myself... tried again

"Sorry you have no credits"

Ctrl + Click

"Sorry you have no credits"

"No, I have no music, not no credits!" I shouted

I clicked help

"You can buy these tracks for just 99p" The computer screen tells me

"Do the free downloads cost 99p as well then?" I mumbled under my breath

Fill in some form to get an automated "Thanks but screw you, only a computer is ever gonna see this" kind of reply message.

NNNRRRGGGHHHH I moan in front of a load of customers.

"Uhh?" say the customers

"My can of coke won't let me download free music" I say back

"Er... huh?" say the customers

"My can of crook... I mean coke says I have to pay 99p to download my free track"

"You've stopped smoking haven't you?" one says

"Yeah, that obvious is it?" I sigh

"Yup!"

Anyway....

The motto of the story is you can't download your free song unless you make your computer so open to hackers and abuse by the time you do download 1 song some asshole in another country has uploaded his entire 300 movie and 5,000 mp3 collection onto your hard drive for safe keeping whilst laughing at your 0.5mb of 1970's and site preview porn he found on your hardrive"

:-)